Friday, October 31, 2008

Wedded bliss lasts just ‘2 years, six months and 25 days’!

London, October 29:ANI : While most newlyweds imagine that they will live happily ever after, the true picture is a tad different, says a new research which found that for an average couple the honeymoon is well and truly over after exactly two years, six months and 25 days.
The reason being: by that time, both partners have started to take each other, and their relationship, for granted, according to research.

Researchers found that after second wedding anniversary, men are far more likely to leave dirty washing on the floor and the toilet seat up, while women stop wearing make-up, slouch around in pyjamas and hog the TV remote control.

The shocking survey of 5,000 couples by research company OnePoll revealed that more than half feel undervalued in their relationship.


BY the third anniversary, things take a bigger U-turn, for 83 per cent say they can’t even be bothered to celebrate the occasion, the study found.
The research found that during the first few months of marriage, 83 per cent regularly held hands when they went out together, compared with just 38 per cent later on.

Partners would cuddle more than eight times a day before their first wedding anniversary, compared with five or less after a few years of marriage, the study revealed.

Forty three per cent have not had breakfast in bed together since they walked down the aisle.

And an unfortunate 60 per cent say they have not been surprised with a romantic night out since they got married.

A staggering 70 per cent claim little gestures such as flowers, a cup of tea in bed or opening the car door are long gone after the second anniversary. But despite not giving their relationship as much thought as they once did, 61 per cent say they fondly remember the exact date they first laid eyes on their partner.

“It would appear many couples are stuck in a rut and, while they still love their other half, they are a little too comfortable in each other’s company,” the ‘Daily Express’ quoted OnePoll spokesman John Sewell, as saying.

“This poll isn’t all negative, however. Despite revealing their bad habits, respondents do still remember the good times when romance was high on the agenda. The odd romantic meal would probably be all many couples need to spice things up a bit. And small gestures such as tidying up, helping with the housework and relinquishing control of the TV remote would go a long way,” the rep added.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Working women hold key to world prosperity

Financial Express -Reuters

A pitbull with lipstick may not be every woman's idea of a role model.

Indeed, many liberal women hate everything arch-Republican US vice presidential candidate and self-proclaimed hockey mom Sarah Palin stands for, even as conservatives are enamoured by her down-to-earth leadership style and jokes such as one comparing hockey moms to attack dogs with lipstick.

But like her or loathe her, women around the globe are fascinated by Palin's juggling act as an aspiring Vice President, governor of Alaska and mother of five.

Combining a career with motherhood is a battle familiar to millions of working women who are often accused of failing to look after their children properly.

"It's seriously stressful having a family and holding down a career. I often feel guilty," said Gill Thomas, a 43-year-old lawyer with a 2-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son.

"Childcare is alright until the kids are sick. That's when it's a nightmare and I do feel as if colleagues, family and friends sometimes disapprove of my lifestyle."

Getting women to have children and work poses a conundrum for governments who have begun to realise that women hold the answer to the dual challenges of achieving long-term economic growth and boosting sagging birth rates.

Not only do 20 per cent of women aged 25 to 54 work less than 20 hours a week but the maternal employment rate is below the OECD average, says Frankfurt-based Deutsche Bank analyst Claire Schaffnit-Chatterjee.

But women who successfully juggle work and children still contend with criticism for, on the one hand, devoting too little time to their children, and on the other, not taking their jobs seriously enough when they stay home to look after sick children.


"When I talk about something my kids have got up to, my male boss crack jokes about how I'd be better off at home. It's offputting," said a female professional in Germany who requested anonymity.

Monday, October 27, 2008

DR KALAM'S SPEECH

DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad . *Why is the media here so negative?Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize o
ur own strengths,
our achievements?
We are such a great nation.
We have so many amazing success stories
but we refuse to acknowledge them.

Why?

We are the first in milk production.We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.We are the second largest producer of wheat.We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan,
he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.

There are millions of such achievements but our media
is only obsessed in the bad news and failures
and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading
the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after
a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths
had taken place. The Hamas had struck.

But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of
a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed
his desert into an orchid and a granary.

It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to.
The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths,
were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism,
crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE?

Another question:

Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things?
We want foreign TVs, we want foreign shirts.
We want foreign technology.Why this obsession with everything imported.
Do we not realize that self-respect comes with
self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture,
when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph.

I asked her what her goal in life is.
She replied: I want to live in a developed India

For her, you and I will have to build this developed India.
You must proclaim.

Indiais not an under-developed nation;
it is a highly developed nation.

Do you have 10 minutes?
Allow me to come back with a vengeance.Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read;
otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.YOU say that our laws are too old.YOU say that the municipality does not
pick up the garbage.YOU say that the phones don't work,
the railways are a joke, The airline is the worst in the world,
mails never reach their destination.YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs
and is the absolute pits. YOU say, say and say.
What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore
Give him a name - YOURS.
Give him a face - YOURS.

YOU walk out of the airport and you are
at your International best.

In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts
on the roads or eat in the stores.
YOU are as proud of their Underground links
as they are.
You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through
Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or
Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM.
YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your
parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant
or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity...

In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU?
YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan,
in Dubai .

YOU would not dare to go out without your head
covered in Jeddah.

YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the
telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds
( Rs.650) a month to 'see to it that my STD and ISD
calls are billed to someone else.'

YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h)
in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?).
I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.'

YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere
other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia
and New Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ?
Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or
buy fake certificates in Boston ???

We are still talking of the same YOU.
YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system
in other countries but cannot in your own.

You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road
the moment you touch Indian ground.

If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen
in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here
in India ?Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal
commissioner of Bombay , Mr.Tinaikar , had a point
to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets
to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,'
he said. 'And then the same people turn around
to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency
and dirty pavements.

What do they expect the officers to do?

Go down with a broom every time their dog
feels the pressure in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up
after his pet has done the job.Same in Japan .
Will the Indian citizen do that here?'
He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government
and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect
the government to do everything for us whilst our
contribution is totally negative.

We expect the government to clean up
but we are not going to stop chucking garbage
all over the place nor are we going to stop
to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin.

We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms
but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide
the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to
stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass
on the service to the public.
When it comes to burning social issues like
those related to women, dowry, girl child!
and others, we make loud drawing room protestations
and continue to do the reverse at home.

Our excuse?

'It's the whole system which has to change,
how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights
to a dowry.'

So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of ?
Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours,
other households, other cities, other communities
and the government.

But definitely not me and YOU.

When it comes to us actually making a positive
contribution to the system we lock ourselves
along with our families into a safe cocoon
and look into the distance at countries far away
and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles
for us with a majestic sweep of his hand
or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to
America to bask in their glory and praise their system.
When New York becomes insecure we run to England .
When England experiences unemployment,
we take the next flight out to the Gulf.
When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued
and brought home by the Indian government.

Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country.
Nobody thinks of feeding the system.
Our conscience is mortgaged to money.Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive,
calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks
one's conscience too....


Friday, October 24, 2008

LAYOFF SIGNS

Marcia Finberg's relationship with her boss had been cordial during the three years she worked as vice president of marketing and business development for a Phoenix hospital. Her boss, the CEO, always made small talk and followed up with her on projects. When this rapport suddenly stopped, Ms. Finberg knew something was up. Three months later her job was eliminated.
Bruce MacPherson
At a time when employers are making more mass layoffs than any time since Sept. 11, reading the cues to your fate is especially important, so you can plan accordingly. When you're in good standing at your company, it usually isn't hard to tell. Promotions, invites to big meetings and attention from your boss are usually good indications. But when you're a target of the layoff list, or feelings about you have changed, the signs are often more subtle.
Nonverbal Cues
Many managers resort to nonverbal cues or passive-aggressive behavior rather than confronting employees directly if they've got bad news or are suddenly dissatisfied with their performance, say many employment experts. This is especially true as reorganizations are planned and layoffs loom.
One tell-tale sign that your job may be in jeopardy is your supervisor's lack of casual interaction with you. "If you're in good standing with your boss, you should be having frequent informal talks
For example, if your boss used to respond to your emails in the same day, but it now takes a week, consider it a sign.
Ms. Finberg's boss went from being friendly with her to avoiding her and being curt. She knew the hospital was losing patients to a new medical center in the area and that her employer's financial situation had become precarious. Ms. Finberg says her boss's cold response leading up to her being let go could have been a defense mechanism. "You don't want to admit that under your stewardship the finances were such that you had to let someone from your executive team go," she says.
Some managers say they play "hard to get" with certain employees to communicate their displeasure with performance. Bob Miglani, senior director of external medical affairs for Pfizer Inc., says he has purposely made employees that reported to him feel left out of the loop, by not inviting them to meetings or waiting a long time to answer their emails. He has also declined their meeting requests even if he's able to make the meeting so that the employee will see that he didn't want to attend.
Sensitive Employees
Employers can also take the passive-aggressive route. When John Boyd was chief intellectual-property counsel of a midsize technology company, he says, the CEO and other executives made him feel like he wasn't in the "inner circle." He says he was continually left off of email announcements congratulating teams on projects, when he also participated on those teams. He didn't wait to see what his fate might be; instead, Mr. Boyd left the company.
Paying attention to how projects are doled out can give you a feeling for where you fit in. Are you being passed over on plum projects? Are you given production-oriented tasks instead of strategic projects? If you're repeatedly overlooked for high-profile assignments that you feel capable of handling, Mr. Gee says it's time to ask for one rather than passively waiting.
Otherwise, you might find yourself in the same boat as Lisa LaMunyon. Two months before being laid off, Ms. LaMunyon noticed projects being given to other people in her department, even ones she had started herself. The 42-year-old didn't ask her boss about the changes, but felt ostracized as important conference calls and meetings were held behind her back. When the company downsized, she was laid off.
Don't Wait for Review
When your work gets reassigned, experts say it might be a sign management is trying to prepare for your dismissal. If you suspect something is awry, don't wait for your formal review; approach your boss so you can fix any problems before it's too late. "It's criminal to wait for performance-review time," says Ms. Sarikas. "If there is a problem, it's a whole lot easier to fix sooner rather than later."
Before approaching your manager it's important to substantiate your suspicions. "Maybe your email got lost in the shuffle. You can make an assumption about someone's behavior and turn out to be wrong," says Rachelle J. Canter, president of RJC Associates, a career and leadership consulting firm based in San Francisco. You could also run your thoughts by a trusted colleague who may be able to tell you if you're overreacting.
If you suspect your position might be on the chopping block, don't wait for the ax to fall. Instead, brush off your resume and start networking in the event that your job is eliminated. And even if your job seems safe, if a tense relationship with a manager is thwarting your growth at a company, and you've exhausted every means of making amends, it may be wise to leave, says Ms. Canter.
Write to Dana Mattioli at dana.mattioli@wsj.com

Monday, October 20, 2008

THE SLOWDOWN NOW..

From upbeat news , we now hear of SLOWDOWN in economic growth in the world . What is the learning from this: Maybe we need to go back to scriptures :

a. Lead a honest life
b. Live by your means
c. Share your wealth with society ( "trusteeship")

The above are words from any of worlds religions / books

Companies or common men who have lived by their means taking care of family and elders , helping the neIghbours and generally contributing to society do not seemed to have suffered any Economic loss or SLOWDOWN

The age old practise of investing in gold have helped avoid losses.

Inadian marriages : Due to tradition of buying lots of gold ornaments for marriages in India, it would be a good idea if the parents of tHE groom inform the brides family not to try and buy gold at its high cost now and maybe they could buy at a later stage.!!!
Being close to nature ( agriculture) should be considered a good option for those who lost millions in the stock marke since the earth is a good heeler.

...........

Thursday, October 16, 2008

SETTING AN EXAMPLE

KOCHI: District Collector M. Beena seems to be showing the way for the city folks on how to deal with the vexed issue of waste management. A biogas plant that will cater to the cooking gas needs and will generate liquid fertilizer has started functioning at the Collector’s official residence here on Tuesday.The portable fibreglass plant designed and installed by Thiruvananthapuram-based Biotech is capable of treating between 3 kg and 5 kg of biodegradable solid waste as well as liquid waste and organic water up to 25 litres in a day.Ms. Beena had installed a similar plant at her official residence in Thrissur during her tenure there. She was delighted to know that the one being installed here was a portable one. The plant was installed at a cost of Rs.15,200, out of which Rs.2,700 was a subsidy from the Union Ministry of Renewable Energy.Set up on one square metre of space, it meets 50 per cent of the cooking gas needs of a three to five member family and generates liquid fertilizer high in NPK (nitrogen, phosphorous and potassium) value, said A. Sajidas, director of Biotech.The waste fed into the plant is converted into cooking gas and liquid fertilizer through an anaerobic bacterial process. He said that the by-products from the plant would help to recover the investment within 18 months.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

DUBAI - NOT SO HOT PROPERTY

Oct 9th 2008 DUBAIFrom The Economist print edition
Is Dubai being hit by the turmoil?

YOU may have thought that if anywhere would be insulated from the financial chaos, it would be Dubai, the ritzy commercial capital of the oil-rich Gulf. Not so. Events across the world are causing pain there too, even though much of the emirate’s cash has not made its way to the banks; it is held by ruling families and in their sovereign wealth funds.
Dubai’s oil revenues are small. Sheikh Muhammad bin Rashid al-Maktoum, the energetic ruler of the second largest emirate of the seven that make up the United Arab Emirates (UAE), has chosen to diversify, especially into real estate, as his way forward. Investors in Dubai property have done well in recent years, enjoying returns of 80%.
Two factors have underpinned prices. The first is negative real (ie, below-inflation) interest rates, which track those in the United States. Borrowers can apply to banks and still borrow very cheaply. And since some think the official inflation rate seriously underestimates price increases in Dubai, there is a big incentive to borrow from banks and invest somewhere else.
The second factor is the continuing influx of workers into the emirate. Less than a fifth of Dubai’s 1.5m people are local. Many of the immigrants are building workers from South Asia who are provided with accommodation during their stay, but not in the smart apartment blocks that Dubai developers favour.
Bad timing
Then, over the summer, Morgan Stanley issued a note which said that Dubai property prices would fall by 10% by 2010. Quite simply, there may not be enough demand for the wave of new property coming onto the market. To a society used to easy returns, this was a shock. The report coincided with a withdrawal of deposits and investments from the UAE by speculative investors who had previously been betting that local currencies would shoot up as Gulf states let go of their dollar pegs to deal with double-digit inflation. But things did not work out like that. The dollar strengthened, so the bet failed and speculative flows went home. As a result, there was less cash sloshing around in the Gulf.
It was the wrong time, then, for a slew of corruption allegations. Since April, investigations have centred on Dubai Islamic Bank, an institution with a history of problems, and on various mortgage lenders and developers. Those investigated include a minister of state and two Britons. Sheikh Muhammad made a rare public announcement recently to say that the public prosecutor would not tolerate “illegal profits”. The investigations are thought to be continuing; no charges have been made.
At this week’s Cityscape real-estate conference, the emirate’s pushy public-relations people were busy pretending nothing was amiss. Nakheel, a state-backed developer, said it would build another tower block that would be the tallest building in the world, even higher than today’s tallest, the Burj Dubai. Another developer heralded a spectacular new development called Jumeirah Gardens, at an estimated cost of 350 billion dirhams ($95 billion).
The markets have been less impressed. So far this year, shares in the Dubai Financial Market have lost 48% of their value. Emaar, a high-profile developer, fell from a high of 15.7 dirhams to 5.5 on October 9th. In another sign that not all is well, the Dubai authorities merged two Islamic mortgage lenders, Amlak Finance and Tamweel; the latter is one of the firms involved in the investigation. Some of the more sober developers, Tamweel included, have stopped the widespread practice of “flipping”—paying only a percentage of the purchase price of a property and selling it on before instalment payments begin.
Dubai is not going to go bust. The state controls the larger property developers and can alter supply and demand by releasing land when and how it wants. Average percentage yields from rented properties are still in the high single digits, so demand persists. Business people are still likely to come to the Gulf. But expect more mergers along the lines of Amlak and Tamweel. Some smaller developers may go bust. The huge profits of the past will dip.

Friday, October 10, 2008

How do I shop for sunglasses?

from http://www.seventeen.com/

It's all about your face shape. If you have an oval face, try aviators.
If you have a round face, try a wide shield.
If you have a square face, try a rounded frame.
If you have a heart-shape face, try wayfarers.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Iceland moves closer to bankruptcy

Iceland plunged further into financial turmoil - and muddled into a diplomatic spat with Britain over its handling of the crisis - on Wednesday as the country's third largest bank went into receivership and the Government abandoned attempts to put a floor under its free-falling currency.
Story - wall street journal
Kristjan Davidsson went to sea as a deckhand at 16. At fisheries college he aspired to be a boat captain. For two decades, he sold fish and fish-processing equipment. Like his father, and practically everyone in this remote village, he owed his living to the fish his country pulled from the ocean.
But in 2001 Mr. Davidsson got bored. He joined one of Iceland's newly privatized banks. He got rich. Now, he says, it looks like it's back to fish. That may be true for this nation's fortunes as a whole.
On Tuesday, Iceland's government seized Glitnir Bank hf, Mr. Davidsson's employer, caught up in the unfolding global financial crisis. On Wednesday, he came to the office for an emergency staff meeting. Glitnir's government-appointed receiver addressed the troops. "The basic message I heard was, 'Go find another job,'" says Mr. Davidsson.

A global recession is almost certainly on the way

From The Economist print edition
DEPRIVE a person of oxygen and he will turn blue, collapse and eventually die. Deprive economies of credit and a similar process kicks in. As the financial crisis has broadened and intensified, the global economy has begun to suffocate. That is why the world’s central banks have been administering emergency measures, including a round of co-ordinated interest-rate cuts on Wednesday October 8th. With luck they will prevent catastrophe. They are unlikely to avert a global recession.
The rich world’s economies were either shrinking, or close to it, long before September. Recent weeks have made a rich-world recession all but inevitable

Friday, October 3, 2008

CAN WE TRUST MADE IN CHINA?

By Joe Havely
In three decades China has come from nowhere to being the factory of the world
It may seem hard to remember, but it was only a little more than a couple of decades ago when the label 'made in China' was seen as something slightly exotic.
Not any longer. Today, few of the things that we buy do not owe their existence in some way or another to the China factor.
The bulk, if not all, of the computer you are using right now was almost certainly made in one of China's hundreds of tech factories - by a company and in a city you have probably never heard of. In barely three decades, the communist basket case once known as "Red China" has become the epicentre of globalisation.
In the 1980s, when China began to open its economy to the outside world, Chinese exports rose on average by 5.7 per cent a year.
By the 1990s, that figure grew to 12.4 per cent, soaring to 20.3 per cent between 2000 and 2003, and hitting 26.7 per cent in 2006.
Consumer boom Backed by its vast army of cheap labour, China's export-driven economy has created an unprecedented consumer boom that has encompassed the globe. According to the International Monetary Fund, China's export growth rate has been seven times that of the rest of the world in recent years. As a result goods made in China have transformed the way the world shops. From the mega-malls of suburban America and Europe, to the bazaars of sub-Saharan Africa, products that might once have been out-of-reach luxury for many consumers have become an everyday affordability for the masses.
The tainted milk scandal has again raised safety fears
All thanks to China. Now, for example, a DVD player can be bought for barely more than the cost of one of the DVD movies to play in it. Laptops, cellphones and other modern essentials all owe their prevalence to the fact that Chinese factories have been able to churn them out at an unbeatably low price.
It has become the basis of our throw away society - an apparently infinite Aladdin's cave of goodies; the answer to the dreams of the world's shopaholics. But recently the sheen on this low-cost treasure has shown signs of wearing off.
Safety fears
A series of safety alerts and product recalls have raised fears over Chinese-made goods ranging from toothpaste and processed shrimp to Thomas The Tank Engine toys. Now, we are again seeing China battle a rapidly growing scare over dairy products contaminated with the toxic chemical melamine. Suddenly, it seems that the 'made in China' label might not be such good value – and may even be deadly. Western politicians and many pundits in the media have seized upon the issue to engage in a bout of China-bashing, accusing Chinese manufacturers of ruthlessly cutting corners in pursuit of profit at any price. Chinese consumers themselves are all too familiar with cases of fake or untested – and often deadly – pharmaceuticals. Four years ago, another scandal surrounding baby formula claimed the lives of dozens of infants.
An investigation found that the formula had no nutritional value whatsoever – apparently part of a get-rich-quick scheme. Such cases are inexcusable and the latest scare over dairy products shows, once again, that China's monitoring and regulatory oversight of its fast-growing economy leaves much to be desired.

Chinese producers face constant pressure to cut costs .China's cabinet admitted earlier this week that deep, systemic failings were to blame.
"[The scandal] has shown us that the dairy market is chaotic, flaws exist in supervision mechanisms and supervision work is weak," China's leaders said in a statement released on state TV. But many Chinese manufacturers also complain they face immense pressure from their giant multinational customers - not just to keep their prices low, but to repeatedly cut them, and to cut them again. Faced with growing wage demands from their workers, they are caught in a "Catch-22" situation. At the same time Western governments have protested indignantly at China's failure to enforce product safety laws demanded by the West. Many conveniently overlook the issue that, for years, they have helped fund tax cuts by freezing or cutting funding to their own agencies meant to monitor the safety of imports.
Question of confidence
It is, perhaps, a case of wanting to "have your cake and eat it".
The world demands cheap goods, but is unwilling to pay the price that covers the cost of producing them safely, or to put the monitoring systems in place to ensure standards are kept to. The uproar has understandably put China's leaders on the defensive; export trade is the backbone of China's economic growth, and the continuation of that growth is what China's leaders base their legitimacy on. That, in turn, depends on China's manufacturers moving up what economists call the "value chain" – essentially, making more expensive, more sophisticated goods that draw a higher profit margin. But to do that successfully requires confidence in Chinese-made goods. Confidence, ultimately, depends not just on low price, but on reliability and safety - and safety, as has become all too clear, comes at a price

MY TURN TO LEAD- WALL STREET CRISIS

It is impossible to make jokes with the system approaching paralysis. I have repeatedly called upon my friends, my neighbors, my parents and my wife to engage without delay in a serious debate on the issues that confront us. Despite my parents' predictable response ("Enough with your issues already") and my wife's somewhat unsettling one ("Bring it on"), I am determined to seize this opportunity to argue with them all and make them look bad.
Certainly this is no time for comedy. It is a time to reflect soberly on how we have managed our finances and to ask forgiveness of those to whom we have sold suspect securities, that our names may be inscribed in the Book of Life as the fiscal year comes to a close. I'm sure you can appreciate the restraint I'm showing in flirting with humor while not actually engaging in it.
I won't say I wasn't tempted. There are some good jokes out there these days.

I will work with the Republican and Democratic presidential nominees and members of Congress to expedite the rescue of our financial system, even if they say, "Who are you?" and "How did you get in?" I will answer, "Where were you?" and "How did you get in?" Not jokes, just questions.
I am needed in Washington. They have the Treasury and the Fed and the House and the Senate and McCain and Obama working on this.
I did not enjoy telling my 13-year-old nephew yesterday that these are not appropriate circumstances in which to play Wii. "I'm sorry, Luke," I said. "There'll be plenty of time for Ben 10: Protector of Earth after we get a better fix on the valuations of these assets."
I took no pleasure in declining to dance with my wife at a charity ball last night. But how could we waltz as Congress was struggling to forge the terms of the Treasury bailout?
"No," I answered Carla, "I am not 'Amish,' as far as I know. I've just decided to suspend my ballroom activities while the nation is in crisis."
She pointed out it was an opportunity to lead; I made no joke in response, though I could have. I could have.
At home after the ball, I practiced my debating expressions in the bathroom mirror (faux mirth, feigned surprise, boyish candor) as I brushed my teeth, then ran into the bedroom ready to demolish Carla, and surely would have if she hadn't already fallen asleep.
I have been easing off humor gradually all week long, responding to the events of the day with a gentle smile instead of my accustomed porcine bray, offering friends and colleagues thoughtful remarks on our times, in place of my usual crass barbs.
"You heard about that Swiss guy who flew over the English Channel strapped to a homemade wing with jets?" an old friend asked over breakfast this morning.
"Yeah," I said, "that was about as smart as"--I stopped myself, and resumed softly, "Yes, I did, Jane. He showed the sort of courage I guess we all need a little of now."
My barber brought up the O.J. trial, and merely by stuffing a warm towel in my mouth I was able to stanch three one-liners that were trying to get out.
It's just not the same now at my favorite Wall Street saloon. I said to a trader beside me Wednesday night, "A Frenchman, an Italian and a German walk into a bar." When I paused, he said, grinning, "Yeah?"
I thought about it some more and said, "That's all. They just walked into the bar."
Write to Peter Jeffrey at peter.jeffrey@wsj.com

US HOUSE PASSES BILL ON BAILOUT

WASHINGTON -- U.S. House of Representatives lawmakers wary of growing signs of the nation's economic distress voted Friday in favor of a $700 billion Wall Street rescue package, sending the biggest government intervention in the financial markets since the Great Depression to President George W. Bush for his signature
The 263-171 vote was a reversal from Monday, when House lawmakers shocked investors and their own leaders by voting against a more narrow version of the plan to buy up distressed assets from financial institutions. The result: a $700 billion bailout for financial firms combined with $152 billion in unrelated tax breaks and broader tools for federal regulators to deal with the growing economic crisis.