This is an interesting writeup by a single mother
Single mom by choice
The last thing I want is people to feel sorry for me. If you can't empathise, don't sympathise. That's akin to putting me down. I am a single mom, raising a lovely eight-year-old and I have no regrets. I don't spend every waking moment hoping to find a substitute dad for my daughter. Parents are special in a child's life and no one can take their place.
I walked out of my marriage over four years ago. No regrets or bitter feelings-just a conviction that I couldn't continue to be 'married' any more. I couldn't continue living in a dead relationship for the 'sake of my child'. Many women do. But marriage is sacrosanct and honesty in heart and mind is my Holy Grail.
What's life like as a single mom? I expect you would want me to say 'challenging'. I would say 'rewarding'. It makes you humble and more than aware of the great responsibility you are wielding. My daughter looks to me as her caretaker and rules-keeper. If she's upset with mommy, she doesn't run to daddy for comfort. She comes back to mommy. To her mommy works hard to take care of her, for the good things around her. She also takes her shopping and on outings.
Sometimes we come up against amazingly archaic rules and systems. Like forms and records which demand a father's name. It's getting better though with official forms increasingly allowing the mother's name for identification instead of the father's. Where we do still need joint signatures, she looks at me with a mischievous grin and says, 'Mommy, you can.'
I am not pushing for single parenthood. Children need the love of both parents. What I am saying is that being a single mom is not the worst thing. Children need love and the anchor of a secure home. If a woman is not happy and content with herself she cannot be a great homemaker.
Does my daughter miss her father? I am sure she does. I do believe no one can take a parent's place in a child's life. But she understands. She understands that somewhere mommy and daddy were never in love-and love is important. She understands they chose to go their separate ways but they are always together in her world. That's enough for now. Someday, when she is old enough, I hope she will understand why I chose the path I did. I cannot live a lie like many others around me. Someday, I am hoping she will smile and say, 'Mommy you can, and you have.'